I talk a step outside for a cigarette.  As I glance around at the night as I usually do, I see a june bug fluttering in a bowl of water set outside earlier in the day for the dogs.  I thought to myself, “Man that sucks.”  Then it hit me, a barrage of “what-ifs”.  Was there a reason I stepped outside that very moment and saw that bug loosing his life?  What do those bugs do?  Aren’t they just a parasitic beetle that’s larva are grubs that destroy my lawn in the fall?  I don’t know, but I felt a duty to help it out.  So I did…

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man,” said Albert Einstein.

Strange. 

As I looked around some more, I see another, pulsating on what looks to be a “helicopter” leaf.  No.  The pulsating came from a moth, with wings spread, one killing the other.  Which?  I don’t know, but I left it alone.

I have no clue on how the world’s eco-system works, and what’s purpose is what.  One day, who knows, nature could turn on us, and we could become the moth/june bug, fighting for existence in a bowl of water.

All of this from just needing a smoke.  Go figure.

Business has been up, but cashflow is down.  I haven’t been able to take much pay and it really hurts when you live check to check.  Robbi tries so hard to be supportive and I love her for it, but I know it’s killing her more than she leads on. 

Talking to Robbi today made me realize something.  I have a sanctuary to get away from money, business, and all stress in general.  World of Warcraft.  It allows me to go into a place where none of that stuff matters.  As fekked as that sounds, it helps.  Sports does this for me too, like bowling and softball, but that’s only a couple hours a week.

“Insert Geek Jokes Now”

If I made as much money as I did gold in WoW, I’d be able to give the nice things she deserves, like spa treatments, flowers, dinners, etc.  Unfortunately WoW is not real, and when I log off, I go back to my life and deal with these realities.  Briefly, though, a couple hours a night, it all goes away. 

So, Sunday, I came in contact with an old friend.  It’s been over 3+ years since I had even talked to him.  He was my best friend throughout high school, and continued to be so while I was in college.  When I moved back home, he was still there and we continued our friendship.  Then, one day in ’04, it just abruptly ended, for reasons to this day I’m still not sure why.  Hopefully soon it the smoke will clear and I can move past that dark area in my life. 

Regardless, it was good to see you, Phil. 

So, after a few months, I’m finally getting out of personal debt.  There are some major projects at work coming up very soon that should make sure that debt never becomes a concern again.  I never posted on it, but Robbi is pregnant again, which we very relieved and excited about, and I want to make sure that affording the kid is not a concern.  I do have some work to do to get there, but I’d like my car paid off in around 2-3 years, and majority (if not all) of debt paid. 

Before I left for college, I remember telling my mom that I’m going to be retired by the age of 30.  Well, I don’t think that will happen, but I CAN make sure that I have plenty of financial stability and my wife can retire by 30.  Here’s to a positive future **cheers**

OK, so this is how the day goes. 

7:45a Summons was scheduled for 7:45 and that’s when I arrive.  I wait in line for 1 hour before I even get in to sit. 

8:45a Explanations of how the day is going to go, and procedures therein.  After a good :15 mins of talk, she CALLS A BREAK!  Not even a smoke break, just bathroom and grab some chips.  ::rollseyes:

9:15a The first names are called.  I sleep.

10:00a My name is called up to court 402.  "Wait outside until invited in."

11:15a Still outside the courtroom.  Finally told the case was settled and to go back down and wait, possible for another courtroom.  :sigh:

11:19a Get back into the gathering room, and see the "My Best Friend’s Wedding" is the movie they chose to play.  God help me, as if not irritated enough.

12:30a Dismissed.

Here is the thing.  You would THINK due to people hating being there as it is, they would make it a bit more comfortable.  ie, no ceiling drips and wet chairs, more than one metal detector to get in so I’m not in line a damn hour plus just to get in the place, maybe even a cafeteria and not a "store with chips."  Hell even some tables for people to play chess or cards or something to pass time.  Then again it is Detroit who is reigned supreme by your boy Quame Kilpatrick.  Maybe he should look at updating some of the public facilities and not banging and killing hookers.

I wish, just for one day, my managers, wife, anyone could live my life and see what it feels like the day after I take my meds.

Maybe I wouldn’t get cussed at as much.

I think I do pretty well dealing with this thing. I still play sports, live like nothing is wrong.

Just frustrating how I can explain how I feel sometimes.

By the way….

DETROIT PISTONS IN THE FINALS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok, I haven’t updated in a while, but here is the recent low down. On the 5th, Robbi, Skylar, and I went to sesame street live, which Sky absolutely loved. She is 2 and was on the edge of her seat in excitement the whole time. We then dropped Sky at Robbi’s parents, then came home to get ready to go out to the club for Robbi’s birthday. 2am rolls around and we decide to go to a different type of club where she got a little crazy, but all in good fun.

Sunday, I had to work on the Super Bowl when I requested off, but “there was nothing they could do about it.” Bullsnip. I ended up sending the other washer home and just worked by myself cause it was so slow. Stuff like that pisses me off.

Anywho, not alot is going on this weekend, I have to work Saturday at 5 or 6 I cant remember, then Sunday I have a doubles bowling tourney with my mom. The I go to work. They also scheduled me on Monday, which of course is Valentines Day, which the manager got an earful for that, so we will see if he switches it. If he doesnt he is gonna hear it even more. I’m not even supposed to be working that type of job, and they seem to take advantage of my services.

Ahh well, thats it wor now.

So Tues is my appt, I’m supposed to get a call Monday with more insurance answers. So far they have told me I have a $100 deductable for the year and 10% copay. Hmm, this is starting to look a bit expensive. We’ll see.

Saturday of next (5th) is my wife’s birthday (23) and we have tickets for Sesame Street Live, then later on maybe a dance club. We are having a get together at her parents tomorrow, so very busy weekend for me since I have to wash dishes at 6 Sat and 12-11 on Sun.

Maybe I should hit the brakes a bit. Thankfully I requested the 5th and 6th off for Robbi’s birthday and the Super Bowl (come on, it should be a holliday anyway).

What is REALLY sweet is that next year, on Feb 5th when my wife turns 24, the Super Bowl is on her birthday here in Detroit. Man that is gonna be fun.

Lets start with Saturday…

I worked my second job as a dishwasher (heat and MS does not go well together, but I do it anyway) and got home about 1:30am. 3 O’clock rolls around and my car alarm goes off. I run outside only to find my passenger window smashed, dash/console destroyed, radar detector gone, and CD case took. Yea, great start to my Sunday. By the time the cops got there it was about 530, and I was in bed by 6am. Daughter wants up at about 830, so I struggle to stay awake while watching her. I’m supposed to work a double shift at the restaurant @ 1200 but didn’t make it in till 330 or so, worked till 11:30. Stayed up till about 12:30 after shower and such. Today I had to take my car in to the shop and get a rental. I didn’t get up till around 10:30 or so, I needed to sleep. Finally make it to work at about 2:00.

I still haven’t go enough sleep and my legs are sore and my hands are shaking again. My wife is upset with me because I’m “lazy” and would get out of bed. I don’t think she understands what its like when you don’t get enough sleep, work in a high heat environment on the weekends, and add that to stress.

To add to all of this, today is Avonex day, so I’ll be welcoming a nice throbbing headache tomorrow.

My wife and I are looking to get out of our appartment and into a new house. I found this one that is a KILLER deal, probably a bank repo. It has tons of updated stuff, but “needs finishing touches.” I’m going to look at it Saturday, so lets hope for the best. Think its worth the buy being $25,000 under market value??