multiple sclerosis

I haven’t wrote in a while, but I may be loosing my chance.  For the last 2 months, I have had pins and needles in my left hand.  It may only be a relapse, it may be the start of something bigger.  I have been with out meds in over a year, haven’t seen my doctor in even longer.

I have an appointment set up for the end of this month, but I really don’t know what damage is really taking place.  It makes me really question my future and what exactly I am working to do and be.  Is my work with studies and future going to be all shot down by something out of my control.  For the first time in my life, I’m unsure about anything.  I don’t know where I’m headed and why.

All I do know is I can’t button my pants, have a hard time picking things up, and being left handed, it causes quite a pickle in my life.  I am being tortured by someone or something, and I am not really sure what I did.  Well, whatever or whomever it is, I submit.  I don’t want to do this anymore.